Our first attempts at inventories are apt to prove very unrealistic. I used to be a champ at unrealistic self-appraisal.
On certain occasions, I wanted to look only at the part of my life which seemed good. Then I would greatly exaggerate whatever virtues I supposed I had attained. Next I would congratulate myself on the grand job I was doing in A.A.
Naturally this generated a terrible hankering for still more "accomplishments," and still more approval. I was falling straight back into the pattern of my drinking days. Here were the same old goals -- power, fame, and applause.
Besides, I had the best alibi known -- the spiritual alibi. The fact that I really did have a spiritual objective made this utter nonsense seem perfectly right.
GRAPEVINE, JUNE 1961