"I went through several fruitless years in a state called `viewing with alarm for the good of the movement'. I thought it was up to me to be always `correcting conditions'. Seldom had anybody been able to tell me what I ought to do, and nobody had ever succeeded in effectively telling me what I must do. I had to learn the hard way out of my own experience. "When setting out to `check' others, I found myself often motivated by fear of what they were doing, self- righteousness, and even downright intolerance. Consequently, I seldom succeeded in correcting anything. I just raised barriers of resentment thatcut off any suggestion, example, understanding, or love."
"A.A.'s often say, `Our leaders do not drive by mandate; they lead by example.' If we would favorable affect others, we ourselves need to practice what we preach -- and forget the `preaching,' too. The quiet good example speaks for itself."
1. LETTER, 1945 2. LETTER, 1966