I haven't felt prepared for most of the major stages of my life, but I've jumped in with both feet for most of them. Becoming addicted to substances was basically trial by fire; nothing has tested me like the challenges I experienced in those years.
I dove into motherhood unexpectedly and unprepared (I did not have either of my two children on purpose), but somehow, I instinctively figured out how to mother. When I entered recovery, I definitely felt like I was out of my league, but over a short period of time I found other women who had learned to tend to their own fires (internal and external) and who were willing to guide and support me.
The only area in my life that I feel I am heading into fully intentionally is aging. I have spent a lot of time pondering this, and I don't want to "wing" getting old.
I want to be purposeful, not because I need to do it right but because I think my third act must surely be my most important. It's where I get to practice everything that I have learned to date, to simplify things on one hand and maybe go deeper on a few others.
I'm ready to jump into the fire of my final chapter. Hopefully with a little bit of grace.