I completely understand and respect that many women have a problem with the concept of powerlessness that underscores Twelve Step recovery. Personally, I don't have a problem with the concept as long as I apply it in one very specific circumstance.
In the program where I found recovery, the First Step reads, "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable." I felt a deep hell, yes the first time I heard and read that Step. As it was explained to me, the powerlessness came into play if or when I picked up the drug or behavior that caused me grief.
And that was true for me: if I used substances, I had no control over what would happen next. I wasn't powerless over life in general, just over my addiction once I activated it.
Because women have long known powerlessness, personally and historically, it makes sense that many are adamant about not assuming the idea of it regarding their own recovery. I think that's fair.
I'm not here to suggest that you or anyone else needs to claim powerlessness to recover. I'm just here to offer an alternative understanding of the term so that we can all understand each other better.