Self-sabotage is a form of self-harm. We self-sabotage because we are afraid of failure; we feel undeserving of success or unworthy of going after or having good or even wonderful things.
As author Alyce Cornyn-Selby wrote, "Self-sabotage is when we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen." Self-sabotage can show up in our work or our art, in our relationships or in those promises to ourselves that we just can't seem to keep. Some of the self-defeating behaviors that we employ as self-sabotage include procrastination, perfectionism, avoidance, self-medicating, disorganization, starting fights, micromanaging, negative self-talk, mindlessly scrolling through the internet, and even paralysis.
The best cure for self-sabotage is to recognize our negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, and then take small but consistent positive actions in the direction of our goals or dreams. Stopping any self-harming behavior that we've been engaging in for a long time is hard.
But, as our friend and fellow recovering woman Glennon Doyle regularly reminds us (and it's also the name of her podcast), we can do hard things. Believing that we are worthy and deserving of what we desire is half the battle.