There was a time in my life, and in my recovery, when I used to spout the platitude that "everything happens for a reason." Thinking that was true somehow gave me comfort when I didn't get my way on something, but I also pulled out the phrase to comfort others when bad things happened to them. I no longer believe or say that when bad things happen, and please accept my apology now if I ever said that to you in the past.
I think of my friend Deanna who lost her beloved daughter Morgan and unborn grandson Isaiah to an accidental overdose, and I can't think of a single reason in this universe why that happened. Why do we think it's important to reason away tragedies and losses that we can't personally comprehend?
Can we relate to how traumatic it might be for a grieving mother or person to hear that their loss is somehow part of a wider cosmic plan? Some things happen for a reason, but not everything.
Maybe that's just as comforting to know. We may find a way to go on after loss, but we don't need to reason away the loss.