She Recovers Everyday

Disappointing Others

April 14, 2026


Learning the art of saying no to other people wasn't easy. I used to always come up with extravagant stories, excuses, or narratives for why I couldn't do something.

Nobody ever taught me that I could just simply say no. I grew up believing that somehow saying no to others would do them harm.

I didn't understand that saying yes sometimes causes myself harm. Like my friend Holly Whitaker says, "Disappoint other people with your no; don't disappoint yourself with a yes you'll later resent." Isn't that the truth?

There's such freedom in saying no. Perhaps you know this.

I'm a recovering people pleaser, so it took me a little longer than most to figure this out. I'm really good at it now.


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