Brené Brown defines shame as an "intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." I have read all of Brown's work, and I understand on every level—emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually—that shame is a destroyer of souls. I am also surrounded by amazing women who have platforms dedicated specifically to recognizing, understanding, and healing shame.
I've explored the role of shame in my own life and worked hard to overcome it throughout my recovery. But still.
When shame rears its ugly head in my life, I regress. When there is something going on in my life that I feel shame about, I go right to that place of feeling that people won't like me anymore, that I'll be judged, that they will think I'm a fake and my recovery is a lie.
I know: a bit severe, right? But that's how deep shame is.
I'll keep working on it and reminding myself that I'm worthy of love and belonging. Shame pushes that "unworthy" button even if we are in long-term recovery; we just need to push back on it.