And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some facet of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober. Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world, but rather on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out—because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did.
A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and each of us has a right to be here. When I complain about myself or about others, I am complaining about God's handiwork—as if I know better than God.
For years, I believed the worst thing that could happen to a "nice guy like me" would be that I turned out to be an alcoholic. Today, I find that it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. This proves that I don't know what's good for me.
And if I don't know what's good for me, then I don't know what's good or bad for you or for anyone else. So I'm better off if I don't give advice, don't try to control everything, and simply accept life on life's terms—especially my own life.
Perhaps the best lesson of all is to remember: Serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of others, the lower my serenity. But when I let go of expectations, my serenity rises.
But then my "rights" try to move in. And they too can pull my serenity level down. I have to discard my expectations and my sense of entitlement, asking myself: How important is it really? How important is it compared to my serenity and emotional sobriety?
When I place more value on serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level—at least for today.
Acceptance is the key to my relationship with God today. I never just sit and wait for Him to tell me what to do. Instead, I do whatever is in front of me and leave the results up to Him. However it turns out—that's God's will for me.
I must keep my "magic magnifying mind" on acceptance and off my expectations because my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance. When I remember this, I can see that I've never had it so good. Thank God for A.A.!
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Pages 418-420