Glennon Doyle has said, "Recovery is an unbecoming." I love that. There are many definitions of unbecoming.
One is an adjective that means "not flattering, fitting, suitable, or appropriate." Or it can be a verb that means "unraveling, investigating and solving something, understanding or explaining our beliefs." Sometimes, it's an undoing. Other times, it's exploration and slow unwinding of layers.
In some cases, unbecoming can be perfectionistic, harsh, critical. The process of becoming includes unbecoming the person we thought we were.
Unbecoming who society thought I should be, who I thought I had to be, who my friends needed me to be. It's about unbecoming someone who is dependent on substances or work or the approval of others to become someone who is self-reliant in her recovery.
We can begin unbecoming and then start the process of becoming, or maybe we start becoming first. It's a cycle; it's not linear.