One of the most heartbreaking things that I have experienced in my recovery is watching people love family members or other loved ones who are experiencing a deadly addiction. I see them try everything and give everything to try to help their addicted person recover.
Sometimes it works, but other times nothing works, and they end up deeply unwell themselves. It becomes an exhausting, constant, and difficult negotiation between loving and supporting the person and taking care of themselves.
It's hard—and sometimes impossible—to do both well. My friend Alicia Cook is a writer, speaker, and activist who tirelessly spreads awareness about how drug addiction impacts entire families.
In her powerful poem "A Prayer for the Codependent," she reminds us that we can love the people in our lives who are struggling the mightiest, but there are times when loving them too much can in fact harm them. As Alicia poignantly writes, "I will stand firm in your corner when no one else is left, but I will not be the one who loves you to death." Our codependency tells us that we can love a person to wellness, but that is a lie.