I wasn't always close to my mother, but thanks to my recovery, I had the privilege of closely bonding with her toward the end of her life. Even though she died more than twenty years ago, I still feel the loss each day.
The intense pain of the loss fades, but still, I know I'll never be the same. I know for others it's not the loss of the actual relationship that hurts but the loss of the potential; it's the loss of never having been close.
Relationships between mothers and daughters are so complicated. Mothers and daughters are women who lead complex lives that intertwine in both nature and nurture—what we inherit and what we teach.
When recovery is part of the relationship, another layer of meaning is added to everything around and between us. These relationships matter.
Before my mother died, she said to me, "You will never get over losing me, but you will get through it." And you know what? My mom was right.