One of the things that most sustains me in my grief recovery, and in my recovery overall, is that even after several decades of missing my deceased mother, I still speak to her often. Before she died, she and I grew quite close (thank you, recovery), and so it's not too hard to envision what she would say to me during those times when I really need her.
I talk to her about all the good things that are going on, as well as the bad or scary stuff. I love to imagine what she would think of the world as it unfolds around us and how she would respond to the changes in our family, the lovely changes and the harder ones.
When I'm stressed or worried about something, I can hear her saying to me, "Oh, Missy—you know what you need to do, just do it." Or, "Just you never mind, you'll be okay." On the days that I miss her so much that I ache, I listen extra hard with my heart, and I hear her say the things that didn't come easily to her when she was alive, although I know she felt them. "Sweet girl, I love you and I'm proud of you." Thank you, Mom.
I love you too. Reparenting myself with words I give my mother is part of my recovery journey.