We've all heard the saying about putting on our own oxygen masks before trying to help someone else. I get how that is just the absolute best idea when we are on an airplane, but I am not nearly as comfortable embracing the concept in my everyday life.
For those of us who dance with codependency, taking care of ourselves first is never our first instinct. It certainly never occurs to me to take care of myself first when a situation arises that involves something or somebody who needs taking care of.
I find I need to be more proactive than reactive, which means carrying my proverbial mask into every aspect of my daily living and giving myself shots of oxygen throughout each day. I mean that quite literally sometimes—I need to stop and take deep breaths.
Then, when the plane starts careening, I'm ready, not reacting. Audre Lorde said that caring for ourselves isn't about being self-indulgent; it's about self-preservation.
She went on further to say that self-care is an act of "political warfare." I feel that. Practicing self-care includes the regular act of taking deep breaths.