For as long as I can remember, I have had trouble remembering the words congruent or congruence or congruency when I most need them to make a point in conversation. I know the words and I attach great meaning to them; I just happen to lose them when I'm looking for them.
When two things are congruent, they are harmonious, in agreement, compatible. For a long time, including not that long ago, my life was incongruent.
It didn't work. I think that's why I have a mental block about the concept.
In active addiction, I did not want to be the person I was being; I didn't want to be killing myself with drugs. When I was at the height of my workaholism, I didn't want to always be abandoning my family and friends in favor of work.
Both are examples of not being congruent. When I am speaking with a woman who is agonizingly unhappy about how she is showing up in her life, I know the word that I need to pull out to help her.