I love the program and the underlying principles of Twelve Step recovery, but the language about dealing with our defects or shortcomings stopped working for me years ago. I no longer use the term defect to refer to any aspect of myself because I no longer believe that I am defective (although I did, for way too long).
The term shortcoming is easier to digest, as I do have a few negative patterns in my life that I need some help with. I'm drawn to something that I learned in a book by Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart called Mindfulness and the Twelve Steps.
Writing about the Seventh Step, which is about asking for our shortcomings to be removed, Jacobs-Stewart introduces a Buddhist-inspired aspiration practice that supports us to walk in the direction of desired change. Using mindful meditation, we set an intention or make a vow to let go of what no longer serves us and open our heart to having it replaced with something new.
If we have a higher power (I do), we can ask for help to take action to follow through. It works.
There's a lot to be said about being willing to change.