When I first got into recovery, I used to think about the her I used to be, and all I could do was judge her. I'm over that now.
If I could go back and visit with her now, I'd mostly just want to thank her for some things and tell her I forgive her for others. I'd thank her for being a loyal and loving daughter to her perfectly imperfect parents.
I'd tell her I forgive her for running away from home at sixteen because things were hard at home and because she knew she was veering down a path that she didn't want her family to witness. I'd thank her for doing her best to survive leaving home without having been taught any adult survival skills.
I'd thank her for saying yes to having the baby girls who gave her a reason for living and a reason to recover. I'd thank her for keeping her heart open all these years to all that life and recovery has to offer, especially knowing that open hearts get hurt.
I'd thank her for who she is today, and I'd forgive her in advance for all the ways she may still screw up. Because she is sure to mess up a few more times yet.